When to say When

When does a person decide to "let go" of a friendship that has been an important part of their life for 6+ years?

This comment has been weighing heavily on my mind and heart for the last few weeks. The short story is that one of my best friends (from graduate school) and I have had some major changes in our friendship. I think it is safe to say that most friendship have changes.......some for the better and some for the worse. In this instance, it happened around a new boy that was in her life. My single friend became my attached friend......who rightly so spent more time with her new boy. At the time, I had no boy and yes, was sad about my single status.......wondering when it was my turn. She was shielding me from her new life so it didn't hurt my feelings, and I didn't ask much about her new life and boy because she didn't let me know she was ready to share it. Lots of miscommunication and hurt feelings later........here we are, struggling to keep a friendship afloat that I am not sure should or will stay afloat.

It is hard for me to decide that a friendship is or should be over. Do I want her in my life? Yes, with all my heart. Will it ever be the same? No......but sometimes growing pains produces the best friendships. She used to be my BSF (bible study) buddy, and has since decided not to do that. This was a weekly time that we spent that was valuable to our relationship. Right now, neither one of us knows anything about our lives. The few things I have mentioned about Devlon, she questions......like I am not making responsible decisions. The tougher part is that we work together, in the same department and office. Others have noticed that "Shawna and Tracy" just aren't the same and made comments. It makes for awkward office time.

I have made several attempts to reach out, invite to dinner, invite to meet Devlon and she has turned down every one with out offering any other times to get together. I made one last ditch effort and sent her a card, telling her I miss her and that we need to catch up. So we are supposed to have dinner next week. I don't want it to turn into a blaming session, but I feel it will happen. She makes me feel like she has done no wrong and this all sits on my plate.

My friends are my backbone (along with my family). I wouldn't be who I am today without their unending support and companionship. Keep me in your thoughts as I deal with this......